Happy 6th Birthday

Today our girl turned 6!!!

 Happy Birthday Addie Bean.  What an amazing day we had celebrating you.  

Addie Lynn Brenden I am beyond blessed to be your Mommy!! You are the bravest, strongest, sweetest and sassiest girl in town and am I so thankful you are mine!! Every day spent with this girl is a true gift and we are thankful for every moment!!

Birthdays are such an amazing reminder of life, something to be celebrated, a day devoted to that individual, to shower them with love and to give thanks to God for the presence they have in your life.   Birthdays for everyone should be meaningful, and birthdays for a girl that has survived Stage 4 cancer are truly miraculous!! Addie's third birthday will forever mark a turn for me and my feelings about life.  I really had no idea how precious life was until we were faced with the horrific nightmare of our daughter having cancer.
Addie's 3rd birthday came just one month after the news that she, our perfect 2 year old daughter,  had Stage 4 Neuroblastoma.   That day three years ago I was filled with so many emotions.   Addie's birthday from that point on took on an even greater meaning and from diagnosis forward my eyes would forever be opened  to the harsh realities of what the future could hold for children with cancer.  Looking back to that day. Addie had finished her 2nd round of chemo and there were still so many unknowns.  We had already shaved her head because we could no longer manage seeing the strands of hair everywhere.  We had started getting adjusted to the fact that we would be at the hospital more than home and that time spent at home was a valuable gift.  We had quickly learned that there was no longer such a thing as planned days or future plans, it was a life that was lived moment by moment.  Germs had taken on a whole new meaning, sicknesses, common colds, and live vaccinations had become dangerous risks for our girl.  Daily shots at home, painful dressing changes, nasty medicines, IV poles, chemotherapy, fevers, and nausea were becoming a part of our normal routine.  I had learned to just keep the suitcase packed because if she felt warm it was an automatic 3 day stay with our beloved hospital family.  We were living a life we didn't even know was possible, our 2 year old had cancer and we had entered the cancer world.  

That year, we had no idea if we would be home for her birthday and we didn't know how she would be feeling, but prayers were answered and we were able to celebrate Addie's 3rd Birthday with our loving family at home and in just the way she wanted.  She wanted a naughty monkey cake (what she called werewolfs) and she loved  rainbows, so we did tie-die shirts for our entire family.  I still wear that shirt for bed regularly, it should have probably been retired long ago but it marks a day that means so much.  I was reading through some old TeamAddie posts today and I was amazed how happy and hopeful we remained through it all, a time full of so much fear yet HOPE overcame it!! That was Jesus, and all the wonderful people who prayed us through it all!! Thank you for  supporting our girl and for helping the light shine through the darkness!!

Today, 3 years later, I am once again filled with many emotions.  I am immensely grateful that we are here today and celebrating another year of life for my beautiful girl.  I am so thankful that she is happy, cancer free and getting to live a perfectly "ordinary" life.  Addie gets to just be a 6 year old, enjoying a summer filled with swimming, a little tball, a bit of golf, lots of sister time and loads of fun.  My girl today is cancer-free and for that I am eternally grateful.  Am I still scared, of course, every single day I push the fear out and fill the yucky feeling with HOPE and Jesus.  I am hopeful that my girl will never have to know cancer again, I will forever pray that she will be cancer free for an eternity.  I praise God for this time.  Every single day is a gift from Him and I am so eternally grateful for each one and continue to pray for a million more with my sweet girls.  Praise God that we are here 3 years later and celebrating this beautiful girl's 6th year of life!! We are so incredibly blessed to be where we are today!! This Mommy heart is overflowing with love for my beautiful family and for our faithful Heavenly Father

 God is so good!! 

Psalm 46:5

Thank you Lee and Linda for another fun birthday party.  Thank you everyone who came and made her day extra special.  I am feeling beyond blessed with the amazing people we have in our lives here in Cedar Falls and so thankful they were there to help us celebrate our girl.

Mermaids were the theme for #6; not sure how she comes up with these ideas but when Addie wants something you had better make it happen :)

Happy Mother's Day

Hello Team Addie, long time no talk :)

Happy Mother's Day.  

I figured there is no better day than today to post about how amazing our God is and how amazing our Addie girl is, I am beyond blessed to be her mother.

May is a very very big month for Team Addie.  This time three years ago we spent Mother's Day in room 31 at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics.  It was THE hardest, most devastating time in our lives.  We were there with our precious 2 year old who was having severe back pain and were being told that she likely had cancer.  Up to that point, we were living a perfectly ordinary/normal life with our happy, sweet and ever so sassy 2 year old (Addie), our newest and most precious 4 month old (Emma), and a 5 year old who couldn't wait for kindergarten round-up (Grace).   In the blink of an eye, our world was ripped apart.  At the time, I felt like all was lost, we were told Addie had a large tumor along her spine that had invaded her spinal canal and was constricting her spinal cord.  I remember lying in the hospital bed with Addie while she slept and just crying and praying, Lord Jesus please let me be able to take her home again, please let her leave this hospital room.  

On May 15 Addie underwent surgery to have a Hickman catheter placed (her tubes) because the team felt strongly that the tumor she had was cancerous and at that time they also did a biopsy of the mass to determine what it was.  I remember our beloved surgeon, Dr. Potter, coming out after her biopsy and saying that he barely got into her and the tumor came pushing out. The day of the biopsy marks the day of the "official" diagnosis, so on May 15 our daughter was diagnosed with Stage 4 Neuroblastoma.  Her biopsy revealed she had the most aggressive form of the disease with an N-MYC amplification, a genetic mutation that suppresses the bodies defense mechanism to suppress tumor growth.  Her scan also showed that her cancer had spread to numerous bones throughout her body and to her bone marrow.  We were absolutely heartbroken but encouraged that our team felt that Addie had a chance.  Oncologists are definitely not optimists and rarely sugar coat anything, but fortunately our team remained very positive and re-assured us there was hope.  I can still remember our oncologist, Dr. O, coming into the room and the first thing she said was, "we have gotten a lot better at this one!"  

We spent Mother's Day 2014, Reed's 36th birthday and our 11th anniversary in room 31 with our precious 2 year old who was having her first round of Chemo.  I was nursing Emma, she was so sweet and really brought so much happiness to that room.  We tried like crazy to have Grace their with us as much as possible, I remember driving back to take her to kindergarten round up.  During that time we met nurses, doctors, and staff that over the next year and a half would become like family to us.  Oh how we love and adore all of them.  They made that hospital feel like home. Our nurse practioner, Mary Schlapkohl was an absolute Godsend and I can not ever tell her how much her presence, knowledge and sincerity meant to us.  She will forever hold a place in our hearts, among many others on our team.  Jessica will forever be like a sister to me, she was home whenever we were there and that Naughty Veronica could always get a laugh out of us.

I look back at that time and there is definite sadness but what really stands out is how amazing our God is!! He was there and looking back it is so clear that he shared in every single moment there with us.  He saw Addie and our family through all of it.  

After just one round of chemotherapy, Addie went from having severe pain and on continuous morphine to almost back to normal.  At diagnosis, she was unable to bend at the waist and her neck was calked to the side because of how large her tumor had grown.  After that first round of chemo, we took her home and she could run, play, bend however she wanted and she no longer needed pain medicine.  That was Jesus!! That is a miracle.  I remember driving her to Iowa City and she was writhing in pain in her car seat and after one round of chemo she was PAIN FREE

.  

After 2 rounds of chemotheraphy Addie shocked the doctors because her bone marrow was clear!!! That just wasn't something they expected to have happen, it was Jesus!!! Yet another miracle.  After that round her tumor had shrunk by more than 50%.  We said good bye to her hair after that round and we still have yet to see that :) but funny how hair means nothing if it is a sign your child is winning their battle!! 

What Addie endured and what our family went through really is a blur, I almost have to force myself to shuffle through those memories, it is like my mind just decided to lock them up.  There was a lot of really bad stuff but through it all we remained a family, we became focused on what really mattered instead of all the stuff that doesn't, we turned our eyes upward to Him and lived each day.  We literally lost all sense of control and had to take life one day at a time and sometimes minute by minute.  Through it all we were wrapped in the arms of Jesus and there is no better feeling than that.  I would never ever ever wish for my girl to have to endure that pain again and I would never wish for my family to have to embark on that journey again but I am so thankful for having our eyes opened!! How quickly our eyes can once again become closed.  It is something I have to work to do... focus on HIM and not on myself and my own desires.  There are days I am so disappointed in myself, my weaknesses, my anxieties, my old worthless tendencies and my lack of focus on what is really important.     

Three years ago my baby was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer and today she is here, cancer free, and as perfect as she could ever be!!! To say I am thankful doesn't even graze the surface.  

May 17 marks 18 months that Addie has been done with her cancer protocol, 18 months off treatment.  May 17 also is the day that Addie has kindergarten round up!! This is amazing!! My girl, kindergarten!!! My prayer going through treatment was Lord Jesus please let me take her to kindergarten, please let her grow up, please let her experience life!! He has answered my prayers and I am faithful that He will continue to do so.  I am continually reminded that we must rejoice and be glad, be thankful for this precious time we have been allowed to be together as a family living our "normal" life.  We can't ever sit back and be blind to what could happen, Addie will never be in the clear per say, but everyday she spends cancer free is one more day closer to her being cured.  We will enjoy every single day, because they are a precious gift. 

Thank you Jesus for this beautiful girl, for letting me be her mother and for seeing us through the darkest time in our lives.   Thank you for shining your light into the darkness.  Thank you for the wonderful people you put into our lives, thank you for the medicine that saved Addie's life.  I pray that the research will continue and a cure will be found!  I pray that no more children will have to die from this terrible disease.  I pray for Hazel, Brooke, Isla, Malcolm, Evie, Dayton, McKenna, Victoria, Brayden, Preston, Aubrey, Jay, Taylor, Robyn, Lily-Mae, and for Parker... total healing, no more cancer, no more treatments, freedom from their illnesses, and for them to have a childhood!!  Please God let my girl be cancer free for an eternity, please let us never hear again she has cancer and please Lord Jesus let their be a CURE!  

We love you Team Addie, please continue to pray for Addie and for all the other children and families affected by cancer and other life threatening, chronic illnesses.  Please pray for a cure!!! Please pray again that Addie will be cancer free for an eternity!!  

This Momma's heart is overflowing.  

God is within her, she will no fall!! Psalm 46:5

Something from the archives...

Just a few recents of our girl :)

God is Good

All clear!!!!! And she woke up in a good mood :). And we got to see Dr. Sholler, who is amazing... so thankful for her and the research she does!! 

Thankful for all of you and your prayers!! Thank you for taking the time to love and pray for our girl!! 

NED!! 

Best. Day. Ever.

She believed she could, so she did!!!  

Psalm 46:5

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Team Addie!!  Sorry for the long delay in posting! I hope you all had a joyous and blessed holiday season!!! We are praising God for a cancer free 2016.  We are so unbelievably thankful!! 

We are off to see the wizard the wonderful wizard of oz...  It is scan time again and we are headed to Michigan tomorrow.  Addie will be scanned on Thursday and then we will meet with Dr. Sholler to review the results!  We have been on DMFO for a year and we are so thankful for this drug and the hope it brings.  So thankful for Dr. Sholler and her team, the many researchers hard at work in the lab, and for the amazing people raising the funds that made this study possible.  I am praying it works for our sweet girl and all the precious children facing this terrible monster called Neuroblastoma!  It is such a blessing in a world filled with toxic therapy that it comes with such minimal side effects.  Addie's hair doesn't grow and her hearing is pretty terrible but it is amazing how little these things matter when your baby is CANCER FREE!!  

Praying DMFO and all of her other therapy has killed this vicious monster forever!! Praying that my girl has another year of clear scans and no cancer!! Prayers that she will be cancer free for an eternity!!

Please pray for our little Addie Bean, for clear scans, smooth appointments, safe travels and peace for Mommy and Daddy. 

We have an amazing father who hears and answers our prayers!!! 

We appreciate you all so much and thank you for your prayers!! Thanks for taking the time to check in on our girl and for your kind comments!! Love you Team Addie. 

Just a few pics of some things our little Miss has been up to...