Life at the Brenden house has been incredible... It is so good to be home and having Addie feel so good!!! Addie has been in great spirits, it is so good to see her... The real her!! It is such a blessing to see her happy and healthy!! It is so hard when she isn't acting good to know whether it is the cancer and it's side effects or if it is her being a naughty three year old!! This past week has shown that it is at least 95% the cancer and it's side effects (that other 5% is all her :))! She is so happy, content to play with her sisters and herself, happy to spend time with her family and just adores being home!! When she isn't feeling good it is all Mommy and nobody else is allowed in or near her!! It has been good for all of us to see this Addie and it brings me such hope in what lies ahead... I am going to have this Addie ALL the time when this is over and I can't wait for that day to come!! Her personality is one of a kind, that giggle and smile just melt my heart!! Her cheeks... So soft and kissable and kisses she gets!! Her head, so soft... Just can't rub it enough!! I love every little piece of her and most of the time I look at her with joy and thankfulness, thankful that I get to be her Mommy!! There are times that the fear sneaks in and tries to rob me of those happy moments... Moments where I think what if I don't get to have this little girl in my life forever, what if I don't get to raise her and watch her grow?! There will always be "what ifs" and fear is something that I will forever combat... I know that with Jesus, the fear will never consume me and I can rest in the fact that He is always with me... He gives me peace and strength!! It is Him that opens my eyes and heart so I can 100% enjoy and appreciate all of the amazing moments that I experience with my girls!!! It is Him who has blessed me with this amazing life and these three beautiful girls that I get to raise!! Thank you Jesus for this time at home and for allowing me to enjoy all the little moments in life!!! I pray that forever my eyes and heart will be open!!
