Why did this happen and why is it continuing to happen?! What caused her heart to not function properly and can it make a full recovery?! These are the questions being asked for which there are no answers. Some clarity would be awesome. I know the doctors want to find a cause and solution so badly... I think it is beyond their realm of thinking that this could just appear without cause and disappear without reason. I don't think the doctors feel it is impossible, I just don't think they believe it will happen... But we know that miracles do happen and Addie has got this :). I will continue to believe my theory until proven otherwise and I will continue to believe with a 100% certainty that Addie will make a full recovery... That is what my Momma's instinct is telling me! I still feel that "ulcer" nagging my stomach here and there throughout the day, that chronic uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach... I don't know when that will go away?! I wish I could describe it better, anyone who has gone through something similiar to this knows exactly the feeling I am speaking of. I should name it... I just call it my ulcer and continually pray it away!! I really feel that the cause of this will not be clear but pray that the resolution is great. That Addie will be HEALED and free from all of it... heart failure (diastlic dysfunction), respiratory distress, kidney damage and CANCER!! In Jesus name I pray!!!!
My devotional tonight was unbelievable... I can't wait to read it each night because I know His words will give my heart exactly what it is looking for!!! It is incredible how He always finds a way to center me, to put everything in its place and to give me peace. He continually reminds me that it isn't my job to figure this out and that it isn't in my control!!! He always lets me know that He is here and that it is going to be OK, she is going to be OK... Better than ok!! My only job is to love her and trust Him, He will take care of the rest!! Thank you Jesus!
I know it is hard to read but I had to share... Don't feel obligated to read it and sorry for the poor picture. For those that take the time to read it, I pray it gives you the comfort it has given me!
On a high note... This morning before Addie had to undergo her bronchoscopy she was feeling and acting better than we have seen her in a long time!! We enjoyed her sweet voice and precious smile!! Her breathing was better than it had been and she just appeared to be feeling better!
Her bronchoscopy and GI evaluation went well. She did come back from the OR intubated because they were worried that due to the fluid that was injected into her lungs for the bronchoscopy she could have increased respiratory distress. They felt it safest to leave Addie intubated for the night! The plan is to extubate her first thing tomorrow morning! Prayers for this and that all will go well!! Prayers that we will never again have to see our sweet girl on a ventilator!! As scary as the ventilator is, it is so nice to see Addie rest peacefully tonight! Her body worked so hard the past two days to breathe and I think a little break will hopefully only make it better for her!! Even ventilated Addie still managed to help me decorate the room, pointing to where she wanted things hung up! She was also able to get and give a few Frozen tattoos :)!
Please Jesus make Addie well again... Please don't ever let us be in this place again, let her continue to climb that hill to recovery!!
Go Team Addie!
From a card we opened today (thank you for the sweet and amazingly thoughtful gift)...
Every day God thinks of you.
Psalm 68:19
Every hour God looks after you.
2 Thessalonians 3:3
Every minute God cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7
Because every second He loves you.
Jeremiah 31:3