Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Last Round

Here we are for what I pray is the very LAST time my girl will ever be treated for cancer!  We checked in to the penthouse, aka PICU, for Addie's final round of therapy!  Praise God!

So many prayers accompany this day, the days that have lead up to it and the years and years to follow... Please Jesus let this be the last time my sweet girl ever has to fight for her life, let it be the last time she will ever have to be treated for cancer of ANY kind and especially for Neuroblastoma (two words I hate more than anything, cancer and that Nasty N-word)!!  Please God let her scans stay clear for an eternity.  Please let the toxins used to kill this awful monster not affect the long term health of my precious girl!  Most importantly, let this sweet child live a long healthy life abundant in LOVE and JOY!
I have been struggling with so many emotions lately and over the past month knowing this time was near... It is hard for me to even write this post, for fear that the floor is going to once again drop out from under us!  Is it really possible for Addie to be done with cancer treatment?!  Is it possible that we could live a "normal" life?!  It is crazy how scary that new "normal" life is for me to face.  The reality is that our future will never be blissfully/ignorantly normal again, because we now know all to well what can and does happen.  Unfortunately, Addie's future is accompanied by this awful dark monster called relapse... I have to find a way to get past that fear and not let what could happen ruin what IS happening!  I always try and keep my mind focused on how amazingly blessed we are that she is HERE and almost done with treatment, I mean how unbelievably miraculous is that!  Praise God!!!  However, the devil will forever try to steal my joy and my human tendencies will continue to shake my soul.  Thankfully I am NOT alone, it is out of my control and in the hands of the ONE who loves us more than we could ever imagine!  This past week was such a blessing (in disguise of course, they can't ever be obvious) and I know the Lord gave us that scan to ease our anxieties and to bring us hope in what the future holds!!  He is so good, so faithful!  I just have to keep doing my best to focus on His truths and not the devil's ever so convincing lies!  
Thank you Jesus for my sweet girl and for her amazing response to therapy.  Thank you for allowing me to be her mother!  Thank you for these wonderful doctors, nurses, pharmacists and researchers that made this therapy possible!  I pray that it will keep my baby cancer free for an eternity!  Praise God for our amazing family, friends and followers!  We love you Team Addie!



Tubes out Tuesday... I can't even believe it!!! 

Please say a special prayer for two little sweethearts, Avery and Leilani.  Leilani received a new heart today and Avery is in the fight of her life against cancer.  Please Jesus take care of these two little earthly Angels!

Saturday, September 26, 2015

News

Went from the scariest day ever to the BEST day ever!  Her preliminary results are in and she is CLEAR!!!  So thankful, beyond thankful!!! Praise Jesus!! Thank you Team Addie!  Thank you Jesus!  

Live each day full of joy and thankfulness, never let a moment go unnoticed or unappreciated!!! Life is a gift, a precious gift!!! 
Praise God!!! Thank you for this amazing little girl and the amazing news we received today!  Thank you that we can live today and hopefully many more without fear of this beast returning to take our precious little girl!  
Love you Team Addie



Friday, September 25, 2015

Surprise scan

So scans are awful things and especially surprise scans... They are great if they show no disease but they demolish your life if they are positive!   I don't want to go into all the details but I am asking everyone to please pray for our sweet girl.  Addie has a brain and spine MRI today at 12:00, please pray that it is clear and that she hasn't had a relapse.  Pray hard team, this Momma is beyond scared!!!! I know the He will take care of her no matter what but I would definitely like to have her with me until I am long gone from this earth (call me selfish!). Please Jesus let Addie's scans be clear for an eternity!  Please Lord let me enjoy her smiles and her amazing presence for years and years to come, until forever!  
Thank you Team Addie


Tuesday, September 15, 2015

We are still here

Sorry Team, We have been busy living life :) a relatively "normal" life!!  Ha, normal?! What even is that?! 

Just some quick pictures of our girl!  She has been really good, obsessed with pigtails and dresses!  She started preschool which isn't her favorite thing quite yet, but I think eventually she will realize she has the sweetest teachers in town and she can have a lot of fun there!  Thankfully she loves daycare and just adores her Coral!







Lots of things are coming up... Definitely some exciting things, but I continue to find myself struggling to keep my mind on those positives!!  The fear in being done is so scary and what that means...  Trying to NOT live looking over my shoulder waiting for the ball to once again drop, fearing that our world will once again fall apart, and worse the fear of losing my precious girl to this awful disease. The fear will continue to try and haunt me and some days are definitely better/worse than others, but I do my best to LIVE each day joyful and thankful... And how dare I be sad or upset when I have this beautiful face looking up at me, telling me she loves me to the heavens!  


I love you Addie Lynn Brenden!!!  Please Jesus guard my girl from this beast or any others that may come her way!  Let her live a long, healthy and most of ALL happy life!  Thank you Jesus for this life and for these precious little girls that call me Momma!  Amen